All our lives, we are conditioned to believe that one day, we will find “the one”, you know, the one who gets you; quirks and all. The yin to your yang, your ride or die. The one you get to ride into the sunset with and live happily ever after.
Some of us spend years waiting for this dream to finally come true, to finally say, “You complete me” and really mean it – to finally have someone look at you and see you. We watch romantic movies and cry as the hero and heroine set impossible standards for us and themselves and scale through every single time.
A lot of us hold out on doing anything because we want to do these things with the one and when we finally get to meet the one, we realize a little too late that we forgot to exist in our own rights.
Someone once asked what the upside to being single was. Why would you even compare the exhilaration of being in a relationship with the perceived loneliness that becomes of the single folk? This article is a reply to her and has none of those patronizing talks about how being single is finally the only time you have to take your life into your own hands, and how you can only go on a journey towards self-realization and fulfillment when you are alone. This is a list of five completely practical things you can only do when you are single.
- Flirt without boundaries – Being single means you have no limits to the recipients of your flirtatious skills. You can smile lingeringly at the salesgirl and touch the boy next door while laughing, throwing your head backwards and saying things you don’t really mean, like “You are so funny” without a tinge of guilt.
- Change career path – Notice how many of your coupled-up friends come to you for relationship advice? Don’t you think it’s time you cashed in on that? Take on some fancy title like ‘Relationship consultant’ or ‘Relationship expert’, get a corner office, become an entrepreneur and finally take charge of your own life and if you are one already, well, what do I know?
- Have as many friends of the opposite sex as you want – It’s crazy how when you are in a relationship, you are suddenly more conscious about how many members of the opposite sex you allow into your personal space because even if you are dating captain-trust-himself, you still would not want him having doubts.
- You get to sleep early – Dark circles and eye bags are a big deal! Couples, especially in their honeymoon phase, spend a lot of nighttime hours talking to each other, burning airtime and sleep and it’s only romantic in theory, they wake up tired and in spite of themselves give less than their best at work and at school, all the while claiming they would do it all again. Single people get to sleep when and how they want. They wake up relaxed, glowing and bringing their one hundred and ten per cent. You may think this point is absolute BS and you might be right.
- Get into a new relationship – This seems like the most obvious of the lot. You can only get into a new relationship if you are single unless you are a cheating lowlife who has no respect for the sanctity of what a relationship represents. You get to go on lots of dates, get to see the world through another person’s eye and if you don’t like what you see, you leave to try another day.
What I am trying to say is that there is no downside to being single. Not when you are really comfortable in your own skin and not when you finally realize that even without the one, you are enough and if this was one of those self-realization articles, it would say that is all the self-realization you need. If you enjoyed this article, you’ll also enjoy how travel can make you find your soulmate.
Sincerely, thank you for reading.
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About The Author
Thank you Sis. for the piece, I love it.
I want to lay emphases on the last point. Indulging in that exposes one to his/her strengths and weaknesses, then create room for learning, growth and changes. You get to work on yourself, attract the right partner and also be the best spouse ever.
I do believe that most singles, especially the females restrain from dating cause of their society – the African/black man’s mentality, whereby ladies who do that are majorly condemned and tagged ‘promiscuous’.
I am glad you liked it Salvagain and the point you raised is very insightful and what I would say to those singles is to “do you, the world will adjust”